Osho Jokes - Home

1. Osho Paddy Jokes
    
2. Random Osho Jokes
    
3. Swami Deva Coconut
    
4. Osho Drunkard Jokes
    
5. Ronald Reagan Jokes
    
6. Mulla Nasruddin Jokes
    
7. Fake Spirituality Jokes
    
8. Osho Little Ernie Jokes
   
   

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    Random Osho Jokes

1. Swami Bharti Barfi, one of Shree Rajneesh's Indian disciples, is sitting on an Air India plane with the Shankaracharya of Puri and some of his aides. They are cruising at thirty-five thousand feet over the Indian sub-continent, when the shankaracharya suddenly feels very generous.

   "If I throw this hundred-rupee note out the window," he says, "I will make one harijan very happy."
   One of his aides adds, "But if you throw out two fifty-rupee notes, you will make two people happy."

   And the other aide says, "Well, why not throw out one hundred one-rupee notes, and make one hundred people happy?"
   
   At this point Swami Bharti Barfi stands up and says, "Why don't you make nine hundred million people happy and throw yourself out the window?"
    

2. The Jewish lady and her son were walking along the beach when a tidal wave crashed on them. When the water receded the boy was gone.

   "Ah Merciful Father," the mother pleaded. "Please return my beautiful child. I will be so grateful -- I will never cheat on my income tax or my husband again, I will stop smoking, I will do anything -- anything!"

   Just then another wave loomed up and her small son was standing there. She clasped him to her bosom, looked at him a moment and once again turned her eyes heavenward.

   Looking up she said, "But he had a hat!"
    

3. Roxanne, a beautiful, well-built blonde, applied at a circus for the job of a lion tamer. Ralph was another candidate.

   "I will give you both a chance," said the manager. "The girl can go first."

   Roxanne, wearing a full-length mink coat, entered the cage. A huge lion was let in with her and immediately the animal started to charge.

   Suddenly, Roxanne opened her fur coat and stood there, completely naked. The lion stopped dead in his tracks and began licking her feet, then her hands, then he went meekly back to the corner.

   The manager was amazed. He turned towards the young man. "Well, pal, do you think you can top that?"

   "I sure can," said Ralph. "You just get that stupid lion out of there and I will show you."
    

4. Cooperman sold strawberries off his truck out in the suburbs. He knocked on the door of a house: "Wanna buy some strawberries?"

   "Come around back," answered the pretty young blonde.

   Cooperman walked to the rear, rang the bell and the woman opened the door. To Cooperman's shock she stood there stark naked, with not a stitch of clothes on. Cooperman started to cry. "What is the matter?" asked the blonde.

   "Today my wife ran away with my best friend," explained Cooperman. "I lost three thousand dollars on the stock market. And now you are gonna screw me out of my strawberries too!"
    

5. At lunch one woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. The other night I dreamed that John was having lunch with some blonde, and they were laughing together."

   "Oh, for God's sake, Helen!" protested her friend. "It was only a silly dream."

   "Only a dream," repeated the other. "But if he does such things in MY dreams, can you imagine what he must do in his?"
    

6. Young Duncan MacPherson tiptoes into the room where Hamish MacTavish is sitting by the fire, reading his newspaper.
   
   "Mister MacTavish," says young Duncan, nervously. "I have come to ask for your kind permission. I would like to ask you if I can marry your daughter, Tillie."
   
   "Well, well, lad!" says Hamish, looking up. "Before I say a word about the matter, my boy, have you seen my wife, Mrs. MacTavish?"
   
   "Yes, sir," replies Duncan. "But I still prefer your daughter!"
    

7. Sidney Silicon, the San Francisco yuppie, is jogging on a foggy morning along the cliff-tops around the bay. He loses his way in the fog, gets too close to the edge, trips, and falls over the cliff. He manages to grab hold of a small branch which is sticking out halfway down, and there he hangs, suspended in space.
   
   "Help!" screams Sidney. "Is anybody there?"
   There is a long silence, and then a loud voice booms from above, "Yes, my son, I am here. I am God! Just let go of the branch and my angels will catch you and bring you to paradise."
   
   Some seconds go by, and then Sidney shouts again, "Is there anybody there?"
   "My son," booms the voice from above, "I told you, I am God and I am here! Trust me!"
   "I know," says Sidney, "that you are there. But isn't anybody else there?"
    

8. It is that fateful day on Calvary Hill. Jesus has been hanging from his cross for hours, and he is getting weaker and weaker.
   Suddenly he sees Moseki, his Polish disciple, among the faces in the crowd below.
   
   "Moseki, Moseki," gasps Jesus to the Polack. "Moseki, come here; I have a message for you and your people."
   
   Moseki shimmies up the cross, bringing his ear next to Jesus and says, "Yes, Lord, what is the message for us Polacks?"
   "The times are dangerous for my Polish disciples," whispers Jesus, "so until I come back, just play dumb!"
    

9. Little Ernie walks into his parents' bedroom and sees his father putting on a condom.
   
   "Hey, Dad," says Little Ernie. "What are you doing?"
   "Uh, er... I am going out to hunt rabbits," stammers his embarrassed father.
   
   "Really?" says Ernie. "What are you going to do when you reach them, Dad? Fuck them?"
    

Random Osho Jokes - 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9