Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes | Mulla Nasruddin Jokes of Osho

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Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

Once I was traveling with Mulla Nasruddin. At a station, at a stop, a newcomer came into the compartment -- he may have known Nasruddin. He said, 'Hello.' They greeted each other and then he said, 'How are you, Nasruddin?'
Nasruddin said, 'Fine! Absolutely fine!'
Then the man said, 'And how is your wife?'
Nasruddin said, 'She is also fine, thank you.' 'And how are your children?'
Nasruddin said, 'They are all very well, thank you.'
I was surprised. When the man left at another stop, I asked Nasruddin, 'What is the matter? -- because I know well that you don't have a wife, you don't have any children.'
Nasruddin said, 'I also know -- but why create an argument?'
Mulla Nasruddin once told me, 'Well, I have been putting off the evil day for months but I have got to go this time.'
'Dentist or doctor?' I inquired.
'Neither,' he said, 'I am getting married.'
The drunk Mulla Nasruddin noticed one parrot perched atop a farmhouse gable. Attracted by the bright plumage, he ran to fetch a ladder, climbed onto the roof, and was about to clap his cap over the bird when the parrot fixed him with a beady eye and asked, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Gosh, I didn't mean nothing!" said the Mulla, "I thought you was a bird!"
Mulla Nasruddin went to the horse doctor and said "My horse has become so lazy that something has to be done. He does not run. He does not even walk! What to say about running? So give me something really vital."

The doctor said, "We have the medicine, but it is very bitter and the horse may not take it, so you will have to use a certain device. Take this bamboo pipe, it is hollow within. Fill it with the medicine -- it is a powder." He gave the powder. "Put one end of the pipe into the horse's mouth and the other in your own mouth and then blow so that it will go down the horse's throat."

Everything went well up to the last moment... the horse blew first! Nasruddin, an eighty-year-old man, jumped the fence of his garden and ran so fast that no Olympic runner would have been able to compete with him.

His wife rushed to the horse doctor. She said "Give me a double dose immediately because I have to catch him! He has escaped!
One night Mulla Nasruddin dreamed that a man wanted to give him some money. He was very generous, but Mulla was insistent, "Give me a hundred rupees."
And the man was saying, "Take ninety... ninety-one... ninety-two... ninety-three."

But Mulla was insistent on a hundred rupees because Mulla could see that the man was so generous, he looked so kind that he might agree on a hundred rupees, so why settle for less?

The man said, "Listen. For the last time, take ninety-nine.
Mulla said, "One hundred!" But he said it so loudly that he woke up. He opened his eyes -- the man had disappeared and the money had disappeared.
He immediately closed his eyes and he said, "Okay, okay. Give me ninety-nine!"
Mulla Nasruddin was telling his son, "Sit silently don't make noise!"

But the son was not listening. The more he was telling him to sit silently, not to make noise and to obey his father, the more rebellious the child was being.

Finally Nasruddin said, "Okay, now disobey me and let me see how you can disobey this order! Disobey me -- this is my order! And now let me see how you can disobey me."
Mulla Nasruddin was brought to court. He was accused of telling a joke to his wife. When she heard the joke, said the police report, she exploded into laughter and laughed so hard that she died.

"I don't believe it," said the judge, who was a proper Englishman. "Tell the joke!"
Mulla tried to refuse, but the Englishman insisted "Tell the joke! I order you!"

So he told the joke and everybody exploded into laughter, and one by one they all died laughing -- except the Englishman, who died one week later!
Mulla Nasruddin was studying electricity. To show the class its practical uses, the teacher commanded that each pupil bring some electric tool to class the next day.
The following morning the class held a small exhibition: electric bulbs, irons, a hair drier, an oven....

When Mulla arrived he was sweating and carrying a big artificial lung on his back.
"Mulla," said the teacher, "where did you get that electric lung?"
"I took it from grandpa, teacher."
"And he didn't mind?" she cried.
"I don't think so, teacher. He just said,'Hrrr....' "
Mulla Nasruddin becomes very much afraid whenever he is walking down the road, and if he sees any truck or bus coming towards him he starts trembling and perspiring.

One day I was walking with him along the road and I asked him, "What's the matter? Whenever a bus or a truck passes by you suddenly start perspiring and shaking and trembling."

He replied, "My wife ran away with a truck driver and every time I hear a horn I'm afraid he's bringing her back."

Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12