Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes | Mulla Nasruddin Jokes of Osho

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Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

Mulla Nasruddin was passing along a street...
And he saw a beautiful young woman so he gave her a good nudge. The woman was shocked, because Mulla was old; all his hairs were pure silver white. The woman said, "You should be ashamed -- all your hairs are pure white. You are the age of my grandfather -- you should have been dead by now. You are showing your ugliness....
Mulla said, "Listen, my hairs are white, that's true, but my heart is still black -- dark black."
Mulla Nasruddin used to purchase shoes which were too tight for him, one size too small. He was continually complaining and grumbling to everybody, "I will die with these shoes!"
People said, "Why don't you change them?"
When he came the next time to the shoe store to change them, he again asked for the same size. The shoemaker said, "Are you mad or something? That shoe is always going to give you problems."
Mulla Nasruddin said, "There is a great philosophy in it. I have so many problems; this shoe keeps me busy, and all other worries become small. I have to manage to walk in these shoes. The only way I know to avoid those other worries is to create a bigger worry. This is so simple. And in the night when I come home, and I take the shoes off... boy, what a relief! This shoe is my only hope to find some relief in life."
Mulla Nasruddin was being analyzed by a psychiatrist. After many months of analysis, many meetings, the psychiatrist said, as Mulla lay on the couch: 'This is what I feel, this is what I conclude: you need to fall in love, you need a beautiful feminine object. Love is your need.'

Mulla said, 'Between me and you, don't you think love is silly?'
The psychiatrist said, 'Between me and you? -- it would be absurd!'
Mulla Nasruddin once fell in a river, and he was just going to be drowned. He was not a religious man, but suddenly, at the verge of death, he cried loudly, "Allah, God, please save me, help me, and from today, now I will pray and I will do whatsoever is written in the scriptures."

While he was saying this "God help me", he caught hold of a branch hanging over on the river. And when he was grabbing and, coming toward safety, he felt relaxed, and he said, "Now it is okay. Now you need not worry." He told again to God, "Now you need not worry. Now I am safe." Suddenly the branch broke, and he fell again. So he said, "Can't you take a simple joke?"
One day, just in the morning, Mulla Nasruddin's wife said to Mulla that, "In the night, while you were asleep, you were insulting me. You were saying things against me, swearing against me. What do you mean? You will have to explain."

Mulla Nasruddin said, "But who says that I was asleep? I was not asleep. Just the things I want to say, I cannot say in the day. I cannot gather so much courage."
I remember once Mulla Nasruddin was working as a doorkeeper in a museum. The first day he was appointed, he asked for the rules: "What rules have to be followed?" So he was given the book of the rules that were to be followed by the doorkeeper. He memorized them; he took every care not to forget a single detail.

And the first day when he was on duty, the first visitor came. He told the visitor to leave his umbrella there outside with him at the door. The visitor was amazed. He said, "But I don't have any umbrella." So Nasruddin said, "In that case, you will have to go back. Bring an umbrella because this is the rule. Unless a visitor leaves his umbrella here outside, he cannot be allowed in."
Once Mulla Nasruddin was shopping in a village. He left his donkey on the street and went into a shop to purchase something. When he came out he was furious. Someone has painted his donkey completely red, bright red. So he was furious and he inquired, "Who has done this? I will kill that man!"

A small boy was standing there. He said, "One man has done this, and that man just has gone inside the pub." So Nasruddin went there, rushed there, angry, mad. He said, "Who has done this? Who the hell has painted my donkey?"

A very big man, very strong, stood and he said, "I did. What about it?"
So Nasruddin said, "Thank you, sir. You have done such a beautiful job. I just came to tell you that the first coat is dry."
Once Mulla Nasruddin was forced to come to the court because he has been found again drunk on the street.

The magistrate said, "Nasruddin, I remember seeing you so many times for this same offence. Have you got any explanation for your habitual drunkenness?"

Nasruddin said, "Of course, your Honor. I have an explanation for my habitual drunkenness. This is my explanation: habitual thirst."
Mulla Nasruddin was in love with a woman, and as women are prone to ask, the woman asked, when Mulla Nasruddin kissed her, "Are you kissing me the first woman? Am I the first woman whom you are kissing? Is your first kiss given to a woman?"
Nasruddin said, "Yes, the first and the most sweetest."

Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12