Osho Mulla Nasrudin Jokes | Mulla Nasrudin Jokes of Osho

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Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

A tiny, fastidious woman came at rush-hour and she upturned the whole grocery store. For hours she bothered and bored Nasruddin. Only after hours of struggle could he satisfy her; she finally purchased what she wanted and was satisfied.

And then the woman said: 'Mulla, you may not be knowing, but when I came to your shop I had a very terrible headache -- and now it is absolutely gone.'

Mulla Nasruddin said: 'Dear madam, don't be worried. Don't be worried! It has not gone. It has come to me.'
I remember, once Mulla Nasruddin's wife said to him, "Nasruddin, I wonder ... sometimes I get very puzzled. Sometimes you look so manly, so powerful and strong, and sometimes so effeminate, so feminine. What is the matter?"

So Nasruddin brooded, contemplated, and then he said, "It must be hereditary, because half of my parents were men and half were women."
I have heard: Mulla Nasruddin and three of his friends went into silence. Hearing too much from me about silence -- that silence is the golden bridge, the rainbow bridge to God -- they retired into a cave for a seven-day experiment in silence.

But after one hour they all came back.
I said, "What happened?"

They said, "Everything failed! We four sat in silence with closed eyes. After ten, twelve, minutes, one of us said, 'I wonder whether I have left the electricity on or not.' And the second one said, 'Have you forgotten that we have taken the vow of silence for seven days?' And the third one said, 'You fool! You have also spoken!' And then Nasruddin said, 'Thank God! I am the only one who has not spoken yet!'"
Mulla Nasruddin and his wife were arguing, and Mulla said, "It must have been the most unfortunate moment in my life when I married you."

The woman said, "But I was not running after you."
Mulla said, "That is true. No mousetrap ever runs after the mouse. The mousetrap simply waits; the mouse comes itself."
Once it happened that Mulla Nasruddin and his friend were drinking in a pub. They came out, completely drunk, and Nasruddin was an old, experienced drinker. The other was new, so the other was affected more. So the other asked, "Now I cannot see, I cannot hear, I cannot even walk rightly. How I will reach my home? You tell me, Nasruddin please direct me. How I should reach my home?"

Nasruddin said, "First you go. After so many steps you will come to a point where there are two ways: one goes to the right, the other goes to the left. You go to the left because that which goes to the right doesn't exist. I have been many times on that right also, but now I am an experienced man. You will see two paths. Choose the left one; don't choose the right. That right doesn't exist. Many times I have gone on it, and then you never reach, you never reach your home."
Once Nasruddin was teaching his son the first lessons of drinking. So he told him... The son was asking, he was curious. He asked that, "When is one to stop?" Nasruddin said, "Look at that table. Four persons are sitting there. When you start seeing eight, stop!" The boy said, "But father, there are only two persons sitting!"
Mulla Nasruddin used to visit a saint. He visited for many, many days. And the saint was a silent one; he will not speak anything.

Then Mulla Nasruddin had to say, he had to ask, "I have been coming again and again, waiting that you will say something, and you have not said anything. And unless you say, I cannot understand, so just give me a message for my life, a direction so that I can move in that direction."

So that Sufi sage said, "NEKI KAR KUYEN MAY DAL: Do good and throw it in the well." It is one of the oldest Sufi sayings: "Do good and throw it in the well." It means do good and forget it immediately; don't carry that "I have done good."

So next day Mulla Nasruddin helped one old woman to cross the road, and then he pushed her into the well.
"NEKI KAR KUYEN MAY DAL: DO good and throw it in the well."
I have heard Mulla Nasruddin was sitting in a pub drinking. He was not a brave man, one of the most coward. But alcohol gave him courage. And then a man, a giant of a man, entered the pub ferocious looking, dangerous, looked like a murderer. At any other time, in his senses, Mulla Nasruddin would have been afraid. But now he was drunk, so he was not afraid at all.

That ferocious looking man came near to Mulla, and seeing that he is not afraid at all he stomped on his feet.

Mulla got angry, furious, and he said, "What are you doing? Are you doing that on purpose or it is just a sort of joke?" But by this time, his stomping on his feet, Mulla was brought back from his alcohol. He was brought back; he came to his senses. But he has said, "What are you doing -- on purpose or it is just a sort of joke?"

The man said, "On purpose."
Mulla Nasruddin said, "Then thank you. On purpose, it is okay, because I don't like such type jokes"
Mulla Nasruddin was standing before his veterinary doctor with his dog and insisting that, "Cut the tail of my dog." The doctor was saying, "But why, Nasruddin? If I cut the tail of your dog, this beautiful dog will be destroyed. He will look ugly. And why you are insisting this?" Nasruddin said, "Between you and me, don't say this to anybody: I want the dog's tail to be cut because my mother-in-law is going to come soon and I don't want any sign of welcome in my house. I have removed everything. Only this dog, he can welcome my mother-in-law."

Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12