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    Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

  1. Just the other day I heard somebody ask Mulla Nasruddin, 'Why did Jesus say "Blessed are the poor in spirit"?'
    Mulla thought for a while and then said, 'Blessed are the poor in spirit for they have no money to buy booze.'
     
  2. Another time somebody asked Mulla Nasruddin, 'And what is the eleventh commandment?'
    He said, 'Thou shalt not get caught.'
     
  3. One day I went to see Mulla Nasruddin. He was sitting under his bed. I asked Nasruddin, "What is the matter? Why are you sitting under your bed?"
    He said, "Why not? I am the master of the house, I can sit anywhere!"

    And then his wife came and she said "You coward! You come out and I will show you who is the master!"
    He said, "Nobody can force me to come out! I am the master so I can sit anywhere I like!"

    Now the wife is very fat and she cannot go under the bed, so I asked the wife, "What are you going to do now?"
    She said, "You wait! Lunch time is coming closer -- he will have to come out! And under the bed he can go on talking about his mastery; above the bed I know who is the master!"
     
  4. Mulla Nasruddin was sitting in front of his house. It was raining and somebody came running and he said, "What are you doing here? Your wife has fallen in the river!"

    Mulla rushed to the river. A great crowd had gathered, but nobody was daring enough to jump into the river -- it was so dangerous, it was such a big flood. Mulla immediately jumped -- and started swimming upstream.
    The crowd laughed and people said, "Mulla, what are you doing? Why are you trying to swim upstream?"

    He said, "You keep quiet! -- I know my wife. If she has fallen in the stream, she must have gone upstream, she cannot go downstream. She can never do anything naturally. I know my wife."
     
  5. Mulla Nasruddin was saying to me one day, I and my wife never argue.'
    I could not believe it! It seemed almost impossible that a wife and a husband did not argue. I said, 'Mulla, how do you manage it?'

    He said, 'The day we got married we decided one thing: I will talk about great and lofty subject matters only, and she will take care of small trivia.'
    I asked, 'For instance?'

    He said, 'For instance, what house to purchase, what car to purchase, to what school to send the children, what kind of clothes I should wear, what kind of business I should do -- these are small trivia. My wife settles them.'
    He said, 'For example: whether God exists or not, whether war should be continued in Korea or not -- things like that, great things. I decide great things, she decides small things.'
     
  6. One day Mulla Nasruddin came into the restaurant and declared, "My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world."
    Everybody was shocked, everybody knew his wife... he himself knew it.
    People gathered around him and said, "Mulla, have you had a revelation? Who told you? Has she been chosen Miss Universe? What has happened that you have to declare?"
    He said, "She has not been chosen, she has told me herself. I am a faithful servant. Whatever she says I believe it. She said that she is the most beautiful woman, and I said, perfectly right; I will go and tell my friends."
     
  7. Mulla Nasruddin went to the market and saw a big bushel of hot chilli peppers on sale. He bought them, returned home, and began to eat.
    A little while later, his disciples came and saw the Mulla with tears streaming down his face, his mouth and tongue burning. "Mulla, Mulla, why do you go on eating them?" As he reached for another, Nasruddin replied, "I keep waiting for a sweet one."
     
  8. Once I asked Mulla Nasruddin, "How many years have you been married, Nasruddin?"
    He said, "Twenty odd years."
    So I asked, "Why do you call them 'odd'?"
    He said, "When you will see my wife you will understand."
     
  9. One day I saw Mulla Nasruddin almost crying, he was so sad. I said, "What is the matter? Why you are so sad?"
    He said, "I am really sad. My wife has appointed a new secretary for me."
    I said, "So what? What is there to be so sad about it? Is she blonde or brunette?"
    He said, "Forget all about blondes and brunettes. He is bald! That's why I am crying!"

Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12