Mulla Nasruddin Jokes of Osho | Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

Osho Jokes - Home

Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes

Mulla Nasruddin and his wife were sitting on a park bench hidden behind a row of palms. Suddenly a young couple came on the other side of the palms. The young man immediately started to talk in a very romantic way, in a very poetic way.

Mulla Nasruddin's wife became fidgety, uneasy. She said, whispered in Nasruddin's ear, "It seems that young man is not aware that we are here, so you whistle to make them aware. And the young man seems so much in love that I feel that he is just about to propose."
Nasruddin said, "Why should I whistle? Nobody ever made me alert, nobody whistled when I was proposing."
I have heard, once it happened: There was a meeting in the town hall, and the speaker went on and on -- an old politician -- and he would not stop. People by and by left the hall. Only Mulla Nasruddin remained, the only one. The speaker was very happy and he thanked Nasruddin: "I never thought that you loved me so much, or you loved my thoughts so much, or you so appreciated my philosophy."
Nasruddin said, "You don't understand me. I am the next speaker -- I was waiting for you to stop!"
Once it happened: Mulla Nasruddin told me that he was thinking of divorcing his wife. I asked, 'Why? Why so suddenly?'
Nasruddin said, 'I doubt her fidelity towards me.'
So I told him, 'Wait, I will ask your wife.'

So I told his wife, 'Nasruddin is talking around town and creating a rumor that you are not faithful, and he is thinking of divorce, so what is the matter?'

His wife said, 'This is too much. Nobody has ever insulted me like that -- and I tell you, I have been faithful to him dozens of times!'
I have heard: Mulla Nasruddin's father was dying, on his deathbed, and he wanted to give some advice to his son who was going in many ways astray. He had become the Don Juan of the town, and was chasing every woman. The old man said, "Nasruddin, remember one thing: beauty is only skindeep, and don't be mad for it -- and this is my whole life's experience I am telling you. I have chased women, but this is how I feel now, at the end of my life, that beauty is nothing but a skindeep phenomenon, an appearance."
Nasruddin brooded over it and said, "Dad, that much will do -- because I am no cannibal, I am not going to eat women. Skindeep is enough for me. Who wants the inside of a woman?"
Mulla Nasruddin was trying for half an hour to catch two flies which were disturbing him in the room. Finally he got hold of both of them, and he told his wife, "I caught both of them; one is male, the other is female."
The wife said, "Flies -- and you have found their sex too?"
He said, "It was very simple -- the female fly was sitting on the mirror for two hours continuously, and the male fly was reading the newspaper. It is just pure logic to infer who is male and who is female." Both remain glued -- one with the mirror, one with the newspaper.
The old Mulla Nasruddin had become a very rich man. When he felt death approaching he decided to make some arrangements for his funeral, so he ordered a beautiful coffin made of ebony wood with satin pillows inside. He also had a beautiful silk caftan made for his dead body to be dressed in.
The day the tailor delivered the caftan, Mulla Nasruddin tried it on to see how it would look, but suddenly he exclaimed, "What is this! Where are the pockets?"
A friend of Mulla Nasruddin became very, very rich. And when somebody becomes rich he wants to go back to his old friends, old neighbors, old village, to show what he has attained. So he came from the capital to his small village. Just at the station he met Mulla Nasruddin and he said, "Nasruddin, do you know, I have made it! I have become very, very rich, you cannot even conceive! I have a palace with five hundred rooms, it is a castle!"

Mulla Nasruddin said, "I know a few people who have houses with five hundred rooms."
The friend said, "I have two eighteen-hole golf courses, three swimming pools and acres and acres of greenery!"
Nasruddin replied, "I know one man in the other town who has two golf courses and three swimming pools."
The rich man said, "In the house?"

Nasruddin said, "Listen -- you may have made much money, but I have also not done too bad: I've got donkeys, horses, pigs, buffaloes, cows, chickens."
The other man started laughing and he said, "Nasruddin, lots of people have donkeys, horses, cows, chickens...."
Nasruddin stopped him in the middle and said, "In the house?"
Mulla Nasruddin came running into a farm one evening and asked the farmer, "Have you seen a lunatic woman passing through here?"
The farmer said, "What did she look like?"
Nasruddin described her. He said, "She is six feet four inches tall, very fat, and weighs forty-five pounds."
The farmer looked a little puzzled and said, "If she is six feet four inches tall and is very fat, how can she weigh only forty-five pounds?"
Nasruddin laughed and said, "Don't be silly -- didn't I tell you that she is a little crazy?"
Once, Mulla Nasruddin was caught in a legal case. He looked in the court: twelve woman jurists. And he said to the judge, "I confess! ... Because I cannot deceive one woman at home, so twelve in the jury -- impossible! I have committed this sin, simply give me the punishment."

Osho Mulla Nasruddin Jokes: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12