Little Ernie Jokes | Little Ernie Jokes of Osho, Osho Little Ernie Jokes

Osho Jokes - Home

Osho Little Ernie Jokes

The teacher asked her children's art class to draw on the blackboard their impressions of the most exciting thing they could think of. Little Hymie got up and drew a long jagged line.

"What is that?" asked the teacher.
"Lightning," said Hymie. "Every time I see lightning I get so excited, I scream."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next, little Sally drew a long wavy line. She explained that it was the sea which always excited her. The teacher thought that was excellent too. Then little Ernie came up to the blackboard, made a single dot and sat down.
"What is that?" asked the puzzled teacher.
"It is a period," said Ernie.

"Well," said the teacher, "what is so exciting about a period?"
"I don't know," said Ernie to the teacher, "but my sister has missed two of them and my whole family is excited."
Elmer, aged nine, was puzzled over the girl problem and discussed it with his friend, Ernie.

"I've walked her to school three times," said Elmer, "and carried her books, and I have bought her an ice cream twice. Now, do you think I ought to kiss her?"

"No, you don't need to," said Ernie. "You have already done enough for that girl."
The village priest approached a group of small boys sitting in a circle around a dog. When he came up to them, he asked, "What are you doing to the dog?"

Little Ernie answered, "Whoever tells the biggest lie, wins the dog."
"Ah!" exclaimed the priest, "I'm surprised at you boys. When I was young like you, I never told a lie."

There was silence for a while, until little Ernie shouted out,
"Give him the dog!"
The third-grade teacher calls on Little Ernie and says, "Can you use the word `beautiful' twice in the same sentence?"

"Oh, sure," replies Ernie. "Um... Yesterday, my sister came home, told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, fucking beautiful!"
One morning, Miss Goodbody, the fifth grade teacher, asks the class what the best kind of business is.
"Real estate," says little Ernie, "because everybody needs somewhere to live, and houses always increase in value."

"Oil!" exclaims little Albert, "because cars always need petrol."
"No," says little Peggy Sue, from the back of the room. "The best business in the world is prostitution."

"What!" cries Miss Goodbody, shocked. "Peggy Sue, how can you say such a thing?"
"Easy," replies Peggy Sue, "because it is the only business where you have it, you sell it, and you still have it."
Miss Goodbody's class goes for a picnic in the woods. After all the kids have drunk lots of lemonade, several of the girls retire to the bushes to pee and there is trouble with the brambles and the nettles. Little Ernie walks in amongst them, pulls out his pecker and pees without any trouble.

"Wow!" says little Sally, really impressed, "that's a handy thing to bring on a picnic!"
"Thanks for the new drum-set you gave me," says Little Ernie to Uncle Newton. "It is the best present I have ever had."

"Really?" says Uncle Newton. "I am very pleased you like it."
"Yeah," exclaims Ernie, "and I'm getting rich already!"

"Really?" asks Uncle Newton. "Rich? Are you becoming a professional?"
"Kind of," replies Ernie. "You see, my mom pays me a dollar a day not to play those drums you have given me during the day, and Grandpa pays me ten dollars a week not to play them at night!"
Little Ernie says to his mother, "Mom, do dogs have spare parts?"

"Don't be silly," replies his mother, "how on earth could dogs have spare parts? They are alive."

"Well, then," says Ernie, "why did Dad tell Uncle Joe that when you go to visit your sister next week he is going to screw the ass off the bitch next door?"

Osho Little Ernie Jokes - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7