Osho Jokes - Home

1. Osho Paddy Jokes
    
2. Random Osho Jokes
    
3. Swami Deva Coconut
    
4. Osho Drunkard Jokes
    
5. Ronald Reagan Jokes
    
6. Mulla Nasruddin Jokes
    
7. Fake Spirituality Jokes
    
8. Osho Little Ernie Jokes
   
   

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    Osho Little Ernie Jokes

1. The teacher asked her little pupils to tell about their acts of kindness to poor animals. After several of the children had told heart-stirring stories of kindness, the teacher asked little Ernie if he had anything to tell.
   "Well," said Ernie proudly, "I once kicked a boy for kicking his dog."
    

2. Little Ernie's father invites his boss to dinner, in the hope of getting a promotion at work. Days are spent planning the menu and getting the house just right, but the effect is ruined when little Ernie appears on the stairs just as the boss arrives.

   "I wanted to see you," says Ernie, "because Mum said you were a self-made man."

   "I am," smiles the boss, "and proud of it!"

   "In that case," says Ernie, "why did you make yourself look so ugly?"
    

3. The elevator on a New York skyscraper is packed with people. Suddenly a tall man screams out in agony.

   Little Ernie looks up at his mother, "I don't care, Mom," he says, "it was in my face, so I bit it."
    

4. Little Ernie is studying the properties of electricity in his class.
   "We are going to learn about some of the practical uses of electricity," says Miss Goodbody. "So tomorrow I want everyone to bring some electric tool to show us."

   The next day there is much excitement as the kids bring their electric bulbs, hair dryers, irons and all kinds of things. When Ernie arrives he is sweating and carrying a huge artificial lung on his back.

   "Ernest!" says a surprised Miss Goodbody, "where in heaven's name did you get that electric lung?"
   "I took it from grandpa's room," says Ernie, smiling.

   "And he didn't mind?" cries Miss Goodbody.
   "I don't think so, teacher," replies Ernie. "He just said, `Glrrrrrr...'"
    

5. Three kids -- little Hymie, little Bruce and little Ernie -- are playing by a river in the Northern Territory of Australia. They are swinging backwards and forwards across the river on a rubber tire, which is hanging from a tree. Little Bruce is flying through the air, when suddenly a crocodile leaps out of the water and swallows him and the tire in one bite.

   Little Ernie and little Hymie stand looking at the ripples in the water.
   "You had better go and tell his mom," says little Ernie. "And I will go and get another tire."
    

6. While lecturing the Sunday School children about hell and the nature of sin, Father Murphy asks little Ernie, "Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?"

   "Yes," says little Ernie, "they go in the bushes."
    

7. Little Ernie goes up to his father after school one day. "Dad," says Ernie, "the teacher started talking about economics today and I don't understand a thing."

   "Well," says his father thinking for a moment. "Put it this way: In this household, I bring in the money, so I am capital. Your mom does the housekeeping; that is management. The maid does the work -- she is labor. And your baby brother, well, he is the future."

   Little Ernie wakes up in the middle of the night when his baby brother screams to have his diaper changed. Ernie goes to his parents' room to find his mother fast asleep. He then goes to the maid's room to find his father making love to the maid. So he changes the diaper himself. As he gets back into bed, little Ernie reflects, "Now, I understand economics. Management is asleep, capital is screwing labor and the future stinks."
    

8. "Now I want complete silence!" says Mrs. Goodbody to her class. "I want it so quiet, you can hear a pin drop."

   A deep silence descends over the classroom. After two minutes, little Ernie shouts out from the back of the room, "For God's sake, let it drop!"
    

9. Little Ernie's parents have invited the local Protestant priest and his wife to tea. Ernie has been told to be on his best behavior, and to say "Please" and "Thank you" at all times. But Ernie is having trouble, and by the end of the afternoon is almost ready to burst.

   "Would you like some more tea, Ernest?" asks his mother.
   "No!" says Ernie.

   "No what, dear?" asks his mother, with a threatening look. She prompts him again, "No what?"
   To which Ernie replies, "No more fucking tea!"